Archive for the Category »Illness «

06
Apr
Taking Stock – Part One
Julie

I have come to know one thing for sure:  My hope is in Jesus, my faith is solid and my hope is strong. I’m quite certain that this is what the Lord has been teaching me all these years through the struggles and the joyous time.  Regardless of what is happening in my life, only Jesus is solid, only Jesus gives me what I need, only Jesus saves me now and only Jesus gives me peace that surpasses all understanding!

When I injured my back, my first question was why. I had just started leading a Bible study at church, I was involved in the prayer ministry, the jail ministry and was working in the church office one afternoon a week.  I was starting to paint on canvas, a long held dream of mine.  I was back with my painting group after taking a four year break because of my illnesses and my hubby’s illnesses.  In other words, I was doing all kinds of wonderful things that I enjoyed and also that I felt the Lord calling me to do.  Why in the world would He allow my world to just stop?!  I wasn’t sure, but now I think I know.

During the last six months, I have been forced to be quiet.  I have been forced to spend a lot of time with me. It hasn’t always been easy spending time with me, but I haven’t had much choice.  I have been really looking at what I do, who I am and what the Lord wants me to do with my time and with my (for lack of a better word) talents.  I’ve realized one thing.  I have not been faithful to what the Lord has truly called me to do.  I’ve known it, but I’ve ignored it, even though I know that the Lord wants me to do, and further more, told me to do.  I believe now that the Lord stopped me in my tracks and forced me to take a look at what I was not doing for Him.

I will elaborate further on this next time… until then,

God bless you – Julie

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Category: Daily Living, Faith, Illness  One Comment
23
Feb
Steadfastness
Julie

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:1-5

When I had cancer, this was the Scripture that I clung to.  I prayed that the Lord was going to use this horrible disease for good and that He would bring me through the other side, hopefully more pliable and usable to Him.  He did.  I can remember as I would go through every test, the surgery, the treatment, the radiation – I would cling to Him and this Scripture.  How many times in my mind did I sing, “There’s Just Something about that Name” as I lay on a table for yet another test or treatment? I can’t even number it.  Each praise to Him, though, did just what this Scripture promised…it brought me hope.

Now I struggle with something else.  Pain.  Pain that comes in red-hot flashes and searing whiteness at times. Pain that is dull and always a reminder that I live with it as my constant companion. This is a different kind of trial because I’m not as certain that I will come out the other side;  I don’t know that I will ever be pain free.  However, one thing has not changed.  Hope. Praise. Joy. Not every day.  I would be asking you to be a fool to believe that every day when I wake up, I’m joyful when I realize that it’s yet another day with my horrible companion. Joy is not a feeling (for me anyway) it’s an action.  I have to find the joy – joy in the Lord! I don’t always succeed.  Some days I just feel sorry for myself and I don’t even want to find the joy.  That’s okay because I am, after all, flesh and I do hurt.  What makes the difference is that I have many more days of joy because of my Lord Jesus and what I know He is doing in me during this time of pain. 

Now not only do I have my Romans Scripture that I cling to, I have this new Scripture in James. Why? It’s one word – steadfastness.  I’m realizing that I am going to have to be steadfast in my faith. Living with pain requires me to be steadfast in my love of God, my faith and hope in Him! If I rely on myself, or even my doctors, I’m sunk.  I cling to this Scripture because I’m housebound right now. I haven’t been able to go to church for weeks and weeks and I’ve had to give up leading a Bible study and I can’t do any of the other things that I love to do at church or anywhere else for that matter! So, I cling to Him. He is forcing me to see that when all is said and done, I only have Him. I won’t find joy or faith anywhere else except through my faith in Jesus – in my clinging to Him!

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.  If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.  But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.  For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;
he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.  Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass he will pass away.  For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits.
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”  James 1:2-12

My prayer is that my faith would grow – that in testing my faith, the Lord would find me steadfast and that He would make me perfect and complete to be used by Him.  I also pray that I would be joyful in my knowledge that He is with me and that He is bringing me to a new level of faith in Him.  Of course, I am also praying for healing because living with pain tests me beyond what I feel I can bear at times. In the final analysis, though, I look for one thing – the crown of life which God has promised to those who love him…and I DO love Him!

God bless you – Julie

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Category: Faith, Health, Illness, Pain  2 Comments
18
Feb
My Son – My Baby
Julie

No matter how old your children are, they are still your baby.  That was how I felt tonight as I spent the better part of 3 hours at the emergency room with my youngest son.  He went to the doctor today and they discovered he has Influenza.  Now I thought the flu and influenza is the same thing, but apparently not.  The influenza is much more severe and dangerous.  They even can swab your nostril to see if you have influenza! Anyway, the doctor gave him a prescription for two medications.  One was a flu medicine that supposedly shortened the duration of the flu and helped with the symptoms.  The other medication was a cough medicine that also helped the nausea.  My son took the first medicine around 8:00 pm then came in to me about 40 minutes later telling me that his throat felt like it was closing up and he couldn’t breath.  I knew immediately that he was having an allergic reaction.  This is my son who is allergic to three different antibiotics, that we know of, and I have seen him react to medicines like this before.  Right after this, he threw up and I immediately started getting dressed to take him to the emergency room and my older son went along, too.  It was quite scary and I actually asked him as I got closer to the Fire Station if he was sure he could make it to the hospital.  I figured if he was really not breathing well, I could stop at the Fire Station and they would at least be able to do the necessary things to help him breathe, however, we did make it to the hospital.  They immediately took him back and started working on him.  They put an IV in and gave him a huge amount of Benedryl, a steriod, morphine, plus two bags of fluids.  He was very dehydrated.  The doctor said he definitely was allergic to this medicine and wants him to take the steroid for four more days, plus more Benedryl and another medicine.  I am so thankful for our local hospital and the wonderful doctors and nurses who are always so caring and professional.  They told us that this horrible influenza is really running rampant in our community.  He also wasn’t terribly impressed by this flu medicine.  I had never heard of it, but obviously, no one in our family will ever take it again!

My son is now home, tucked safely in bed, and sleeping like a baby, which he will always be to me.  It is so frightening to look in the eyes of your child and know that they are frightened and looking to you to fix the problem.  In the hospital, he kept looking at me this way and I just sat with my hand on him to give him comfort and let him know I was there.  What more could I do?  Yet it was everything.  My husband really would have liked to have gone, but we can’t leave my MIL here alone.  I kept him updated by phone as to what was happening.  He was so thankful to see our son back home and okay again.

I spent the day nursing my knee.  It’s horribly swollen and painful.  I have never had a reaction like this to a knee shot before and I’m rather distressed about it.  I’m having to walk with a cane and can’t bend my knee hardly at all.  This whole knee situation has been rather upsetting and I’m still a bit miffed at how my doctor treated me.  I even woke up in the night upset about it and shed a few tears. *sigh* I really don’t understand why some men become doctors if they don’t have the compassion for their patients that they should have.  Huge difference between my experience and the experience my son had at the hospital…and I’m so grateful for that.  I absolutely want my son to be treated with care and concern!

I’m so tired.  It’s almost 2:30 in the morning, but after such a scary episode, I’m finding it hard to sleep.  I’ll go and check on my son at least once more before feeling comfortable about going to sleep myself. 

I’m praising God that we got to the hospital in time, that they knew exactly what to do to help him, and that my son is breathing normally again.  Now I’m praying that my son will get over this influenza quickly and that he will feel better!  Your prayers are very much appreciated, too!

God bless you – Julie

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Category: Illness, Knees, Sons  3 Comments