Have you ever been a Princess at your very own Pity Party?! I have! In fact, I have been at one of these parties for the past few days. Funny thing about these parties – you don’t really want to be there, but then there’s a small part of you that is just reveling in being there! It’s odd, really, how really horrible, yet comfortable a Pity Party is.
The party started when our water pump on our well broke, several pipes broke, and the pressure tank. We had temperatures we never see in this part of our state that were well below zero. At one point, we had a temperature of 8 below! We just aren’t prepared for the kind of weather here. Anyway, no water, big expenses, plus the inconvenience and general icky-ness of no showers just made for one cranky lady. Add in to this mix a woman who has just had a steroid shot in her back and is on pain pills and it’s just a pity party waiting to happen. The bad thing about being a Princess at a Pity Party is that not only does said Princess think about what’s happening to her right now, she dredges up the past, obsesses about the future and questions whether the relationships in her life are really what they seem. *sigh* The party just ends up being messy and no fun. By the time the party is in full swing, the Princess has dragged everyone to her party, whether they want to be there or not. It’s one, big, cranky affair!
The party is over for the most part. I’m feeling better today. Part of it was talking to my pain management doctor about the symptoms I’m having and she reminded me of all the side effects of the steroid shot. My hormones are also way off (we won’t go into details here, but suffice to say that something that was over 5 years ago, is back.) and I’m dealing with hot flashes, mood swings, headaches, and weight gain. Oh, yes. Isn’t that just lovely? I do not need to gain weight, but with steroid shots, it’s just a fact. I’m really working on what I’m eating and not eating to try and not gain anymore weight, but as my doctor reminded me, it’s just a fact. I’m fighting it all the way, let me tell you!! She told me that when she had her steroid shots, she gained 30 pounds! No way am I going there. I will starve myself first!! Here’s even more happy news – I have another shot next week.
It is happy news, though, because the shot really did help me. I’ve been having more pain again the past week and a half, so am more than ready for another shot. I’m praying that this shot will help relieve the pain even more than the last one. I’ll take the side effects if it helps with the pain.
It’s amazing how God works, though, because this morning I got my Bible study out again after not working on it for a few days, and it was like God was speaking to me directly! It was such a blessing! I needed to be reminded that the Lord loves me just the way I am and that the Holy Spirit will work in me more and more if I just stay open to the Vine, Jesus Christ. It’s such an amazing thing to me that the Lord can use this little fat girl that is in pain, has so many physical issues and also attends Pity Parties occasionally! How amazing is that?! What the world sees as imperfect, tubby, short and old, God sees as his special daughter whom He loves and works His glory through! I have tears in my eyes just thinking about this. I can be used for God’s glory and, hopefully, be a light that points to our Savior, Jesus Christ! Now mind you – I can’t do any of that on my own. After all, I am the girl who attends those Pity Parties, but through the blood of Jesus, I am made clean and am usable! My hearts cry is that the Lord would use me and that I would know that I know that I know that He is the same God in the valley that He is on the mountain. All I have to do is grasp His hand and let Him lead me through those valleys and hang on when we’re on the mountaintop and remember Who got me there. I want to be His Princess and not the Princess of the Pity Party. I’m hanging on to that Precious hand as tight as I can!
God bless you – Julie
